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Touched by Adoption

Touched by Adoption
Dont ask stupid questions

Who's House  

Thursday, 27 February 2014

The time seems right for me to restart blog world. So much has happened, including breakdown and recovery from relapse of eating disorder. Proof though that for the adoptee adoption NEVER goes away.
I didnt know where to begin so Ive just began with some old drafts I didnt post.
 
Since Christmas I have thrown myself into the EU adoption site I set up with Mariana from illegal adoptions Greece I had hoped that my own situation would become something to let go of and put down to experience, that hasn't happened. The memories still keep bombarding me with no sense to them. I found it too painful writing this blog before but it did put a few things into order for me so here goes... round two.

Who's house was it? I know now it wasn't my real mums, so who's? We went after school one night, I know that because I remember wearing a green knitted cardigan so I must have been in junior school. Again I wanted to know about my mum and again I was told not to get upset but she didn't want me and she couldn't give a damn about me.

The next day you took me out of school early. In the car you told me we were going to see my mum. I don't remember how I felt. I can picture the house as though it was yesterday. The front door opened into the living room. It had red lino on the floor (think that's what it was called) and a window both sides of the door. There was a wooden table that wobbled under one window, I sat there with a boy painting. It was a magic painting book. You just dipped the paint brush in water and the colours came on the page (god why cant' everything be that easy). The woman (she wasn't my mum) had a beehive hair style though I haven't a clue what she looked like or who she was. You must have told me something about her, even if just to explain why we were at her house. A bit later (not sure how long) I was told my mum wasn't coming and we left. The woman gave me a tiny tears doll (which my niece now has) and the foot had been chewed on it.

All the way home I kept hearing 'told you she couldn't be bothered' 'you should have listened' 'its your own fault' (meaning my crying). I don't think I ever asked to see my mum after that. My mum knew nothing about it (I know now). Who's house was it, woman, who were you. All I am sure of is whoever she was she wasn't on my adop mums list of hate. I know because she didn't take tiny tears away from me. I don't even know if over the years I ever asked about the lady who gave me my doll, I probably did because I loved my tiny tears and a child would ask wouldn't they?

I will update this a bit later. I now know who the lady is... She is the one good thing to come out of all this and a special lady {but not my mum}.

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Great British Shame  

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

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Adopted he's Not  

Tuesday, 8 July 2008


Me holding my granson the day he was born.

My first grandchild was born 12 weeks ago. His birth blew me away like nothing else. My daughter was seriously ill for the first 8 weeks meaning no time to think between looking after the baby and daily visits back and forth to hospital. Thankfully my daughter is fine now and I'm loving having my grandson of a weekend and handing him back to his mum on a Sunday.

Sacha knew the risks when she got pregnant and while I was against it at first I supported her decision. I have tried so hard over the years not to let cystic fibrosis control who Sacha is or how she is treated. I used to think I had done a great job at achieving this (smug bitch, yeah I know). I look at Sacha now with her son and I am so proud. I never got her this far. She did that herself. She has more courage and determination in life than I could ever have.

I never thought anything could top having my kids. I loved them to death instantly. I suddenly stopped being alone (selfish) and instead of being me I became we. I split from my kids Dad when my youngest was a month old. if you asked my kids what sort of mum I've been they would say 'the best'. God love 'em! Best I have not been. We have struggled, they can spot a debt collector a mile off, they go into shock if the electric lasts all week and our dog is a redundant carol singer (they exploited him to the max). Despite everything my 2 lads and their sister are very close and they all have dead big hearts. Sacha's son has become the number one in all our lives. I love the fact that he will never have to wonder who is family are. He will never have to look though the family photo album and have unfamiliar faces looking back at him. He will never have to look in the mirror and question where he got his nose or who's eyes does he have. Best of all he will always have a family tree, a tree with real branches and meaning. He will always know his truth and never have to pretend. God I love having a grandson!

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adoption rollercoaster  

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

we can dream!

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Buy me a God  

Thursday, 19 June 2008

Can Atheists Be Parents? That is the title of the article by the way and not my question. A New Jersey Judge has denied a couples application to adopt at the final stage of the process. The reason...

they don't have any 'belief in a supreme being'. The actual facts of the case didn't surprise me (sad to say). What pissed me off, was the article. I'm not even sure why it bugged me so much, anyway but it did!

The author reserved one sentence to show concern for the child. Six years of childless marriage (Lori Tay alert) She describes the Burke's as young, scandal-free and solvent, of "high moral and ethical standards," with Mr Burke being a speech pathologist.

While the author paints the Burks as saints in their own right she fails to see all those qualities don't mean good parents they just mean they can finance buying a child!

They chose the Children's Aid and Adoption Society in East Orange because... wait for it... they have a son who is now 31 (my god I do hope she made a typing error with the age) whom they acquired from the same East Orange agency. Acquire, what's all that about! you acquire useless bits of information as you go through life. You acquire other peoples junk when they pass on.You DON'T acquire kids!

I have rambled on moaning and nit picking I know but it annoys me that people can get fired up enough to cry of injustice of an adult not getting want they want. Yet they do not get a flicker of emotion as to what adoption actually means for a child.

FUCK the childless (Lori Tay alert) purchases wheres your anger at the injustice served on innocent children and the non solvent mothers! Rant done.

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Justice for Scott  

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Help Scotts mum and family get the justice they deserve.

Please sign the petition

http://www.gopetition.co.uk/petitions/justice-for-scott/signatures-page1.html

Scott Burgess was found stabbed to death on 06-09-07. Steven Price, Irene and Karen Duncan had planned how to murder him, then did so in his own living room! They stabbed and tortured Scott with knives then watched as he bled to death a long lingering horrific death. They showed no compassion or regret, they even took their photos with Scott's corpse. Not even the girls phoned an ambulance this was an evil crime yet all Irene got was 27months, Karen 7 years and Price a 15 year recomendation. For this evil barbaric crime these sentences are far too Lenient.

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