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Touched by Adoption

Touched by Adoption
Dont ask stupid questions

Adoption not an option  

Monday, 9 June 2008

Mother facing jail for abandoning toddler.

· Boy, 2, was penned alone in kitchen for three days
· Flooding alerted police to wilful neglect, court told.

Every time I read headlines like this I have to question my beliefs. Can adoption be so wrong for a child that has suffered such parental cruely. Adoption (if it works out) can give a child a loving caring family. Something that all children deserve.

When I think of it like that adoption seems so right for a child.
No matter how hard I try to hold on to that thought my inner voice shouts above it.
Adoption severs all legal ties from all family members. Adoption replaces old family ties with new ones. If a child has a new family that loves them, then surely that wont matter, right?

Well for a small child it probably wont matter. Why should it? ABC, finger painting and fairy tales are enough for them to be getting on with.

Adopted children dont stay children, like everyone else they grow and mature. With this comes knowledge and the need to understand.
Adoption only considers the child and ignores the adult, yet its when adoptees progress into adulthood that the full impact of adoption hits them. How does an adoptee say to an adoptive parent , I want to know everything about my real family or I want to find my real family even. Adoption gives a child a family. Adoption takes away identity. Adoption re writes personal history. Adoption attaches untold feelings of guilt for needing to know the truth.

So yes, I still think adoption is wrong. Long term legal guardianship would give a child a much needed 'family' without taking identity, without re writing history and without severing legal ties to the family that they where born into.

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