In memory of Americas failed children

The new laws passed in 2004 requiring counties to release the names, dates of birth, and dates of death for all children dying while under the care of social services are NOT being followed at all.

The Department of Social Services keeps all names confidential .Imagine --your state's most vulnerable children, betrayed by a state system that was supposed to protect them -- and we have no idea who they are.

Follow this link http://suncanaa.com/in_memory_There is a story behind each picture, real story about one short life....Please take a couple of minutes to look around and see what are we talking about.
- May the spirits of those lost rest in peace and may we never forget or ignore what happened to them.-

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Death by Closed Family Courts

Tahla Ikram aged 17 months. You just want to kiss his little cheeks dont you? well you cant. He is DEAD! Closed family courts and the secrecey surrounding hearings mean authority officials have the safety net of unaccountability. If you need any proof of the failings of our Social Services or the damage that closed family courts result in , then carry on reading.

"The sheer scale of the injustice goes further than anyone can imagine"
We live in a country where at present a minority of gutless, ignorant and cruel individuals stand more unaccountable than ministers in our own government. An unaccountable minority making lives hell for thousands of families and their precious children each year. An unaccountable minority who escape prosecution for their perjurous crimes committed against innocent families in unaccountable family courts wrapped in secrecy. Unaccountable legal representatives who pretend to care right at the start only to deceive and ignore nearing the end. These are draconian laws, but made worse when twisted by local authority officials using a safety net of unaccountability.

Why are these children dying?
"Where's the justice for these children failed by secret professional thugs"

Aaron Gilbert aged 13 months

Chloe Thomas aged 14 weeks

John Smith aged 4

These are just a few of our children who have died due to the failings of our Social Services. Read their stories and many more http://www.fassit.co.uk/the_young_victims.htm.

Social Services and the Family Courts are responsible for our childrens welfare. Decisions as to whether families stay together or seperate, some to never see each other again,are made in these very courts. That is why the family laws need to change and our courts need to open up. The secrecies need to stop so that real protection can be given.

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More Email July 2005

June and July 2005 were the most exciting and nerve racking days of my life. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. The last e mail sent was the day before my world fell apart. The day before I completely lost who I thought I was.

tina wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > >I think ive made a major break through and if i have i have got nearly all her family!!!! i know its 5 in the morning but im almost positive, so had to mail you!!! i just hope i dont fall asleep (havent been to bed for 2 days) and wake up to find ive just wished it and really ive collected a travelling circus!!!! cant wait to let you know it all cos you will have a better idea as to wether they all fit.... byeeee!!!
Subject: RE: Fisher
> > > > > > > > > > >Date: 28 Jun 2005 10:13:42 +0100 (BST)
> > > > > > > > > >Morning Tina although i bet you are still in bed crazy woman staying up all night, what have you found ????? more children to her and Michael.
> > > > > > > > > > >I only went upto 1972 as you know i still have a few credits so could try 1974 and 1976 maybe as babies are normaly 2 years apart.
> > > > > > > > > > >Or maybe you have already found more kids.
> > > > > > > > > > >Col xx
tina wrote:
> > > > > > > > > >I was just in middle of typing it to you.... hope im not bugging you.... well, i think ive found her entire family! her mum and dad i think are james fisher and mary jones ( the others were proddies) they had john, James, mary, isabella and marie. James their son married Marguarita (rita) and they had, Ian, david, cathy and tricia. their son ian died in sept. 2002 aged 36. John isabella's brother died 19.2.04. aged 62!!! what do you think x
>Date: 28 Jun 2005 10:38:58 +0100 (BST)
> > > > > > > > > >Hi Tina were did you find all this info...
> > > > > > > > > >Col xx
tina adams . wrote:
> > > > > > > > >oh, yeh and the one who died used to be a member of friends reunited because i remember going on his name and there was an announcement from his brother saying he had died there isnt a fisher i havent clicked on to i dont think! sorry i must be doing your head in. x
>Date: 28 Jun 2005 14:39:39 +0100 (BST)
Hi Tina you sound delighted, who was it who died a family friend.
> > > > > > > > >Col xxxx
tina s wrote:
> > > > > > > >no it was family deaths. you know the death coloumn in the echo i just went through the old announcements. and i rememberd seeing ian fishers death on friendreunitd, trust me, ive been like a lunatic for nearly 20yrs trying for info and i know it sounds a bit sad but for that past year i have scoured the net every day looking for possible fishers. what do you think do you think it sounds right what ive found
Subject: RE: Fisher
> > > > > > > >Date: 28 Jun 2005 18:18:35 +0100 (BST)
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >Hiya Tina just had a look, so you think the Jimmy and Rita are James & Margaurita so that would make Jimmy your mums brother yes ??? surley if Michael & Isabella were still around they would have put an obituary in or even one of there children they would be in there 30's now.
> > > > > > > >As i always say write it all down incase it is correct, i searched for the marriage of a Fisher and a Jones 1943, 1944 and Jan-March 1945 could not find one in the Liverpool area so that means they married before 1943 so had to have had other children or another child before Isabella was born in 1945.
> > > > > > > >Colette
tina adams wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >Hiya james fisher and mary jones whaere married liverpool 1935 in the obituary for son john who died 19.2.04 it said reuntied with mum and dad james and mary that was put in the echo by his brother and sisters jimmy mary bella and marie, god ive just woke up xx
Subject: RE: Fisher
> > > > > > >Date: 29 Jun 2005 19:05:40 +0100 (BST)
> > > > > > >Hi Tina i am with you now i never saw that obituary does make sense doesnt it.
> > > > > > >With the Bella and sister Marie the name you got Donna Marie i think you are onto something sherlock.
> > > > > > >Lazy Bonessssssssssssssss
> > > > > > >Colette xxxxxxxxxx
> > > > >Date: 29 Jun 2005 23:53:20 +0100 (BST)
> > > > >
> > > > >Hi Tina god you poor girl your a mess dont worry
> > > > >Get all your bits together in a big file get some of those plastic sleeve things and keep em all together and take a deep breathe from time to time dont lose ya koollllllllllllllllll.
tina wrote:
> > > >
> > > >I think i might of found her!!! Isabella Fisher, 8 xxxxclose, . Allison Byrne, xxxxclose, !!!! mother and daughter.... maybe....
Subject: RE: Fisher
> > > >Date: 30 Jun 2005 09:12:50 +0100 (BST)
> > > >Wonder why shes a Fisher though maybe she got divorced and is using her own name again.
> > > >Col xx
>tina adams wrote:
> >
> >Hiya, god i must be proper bugging you! i rekon 1st i have to make sure that james and rita fisher are jimmy a maguerita fisher if they are then its them im going to approach first, he is her brother so i think he is best, her kids might not even know about me, and if she wants them to know that has to be her decision, what do you think ive got an adress and number for jimmy and rita!?? help......xxx
>Subject: RE: Fisher
> >Date: 30 June 2005 21:27:04 +0100 (BST)
> >
> >
> >Hi Ti listen its up to you, you have come along way to find her and i bet there hasnt been a day gone by that she hasnt thourght of you were you are what you are doing and what you look like.
> >She's only human after all but also be prepared to be dissapointed as she may not want to see you but some how i dont think that will happen, aye you never know she may have been looking for you also.
> >I think you should ring Rita and Jimmy and if its them, see what they say i know it will be nerve racking at first but if it gets you to meet your birth mum well worth it.
> >I think you have to do it for yourself or you will go mad.
> >And remember none of this was your fault you were an innocent baby caught up in something ok.......
> >
> >
> >Go for it Colette i am thinking about you xxxxxxxxx
>tina adams wrote:
>
>hiya col, ive just woke up.... all this has turned me into a vampire..hahaha. ye you are right my first call has to be her brother because like i said before she may not have told her kids about me and if she hasnt then i think it should stay that way for them, it would be a giant thing to cope with to suddenly find the mum you thought you knew so well had kept such a big secret all this time,im happy just to know that they exist. i dont believe she has tried to find me cos if she had she would only of had to go to some adoption sites on web and she would of found my details. the most likely hood is she has tried to put it behind her and get on with life... and i dont blame her.... she will probably be as nervous as me and might even be too scared to see me, for all she knows i could be out to destroy her, but im not. It hadnt really hit me before fact that this is going to effect quite a few lives, im scared to death! ive told my kids today... they knew i was looking, but never
> took much notice.... My eldest son just said he will be with me every step of the way and that if she doesnt want to know me then its her loss. My younger son just said, yeh, cool, so long as they arent evertonians! Then comes my daughter ive ended up arguing with her, my kids dad (im divorced from him) was brought up in care, so my kids have only ever had me they have no other family, apart from my adopted mum, who she goes to see once a year she is on cloud nine and keeps saying "ive got a real nan" and proper auntys and uncles. Ive had to tell her that right now and maybe forever, they are nothing to her or me, but i cant get that through to her, she loves everyone in life and would open her arms to the bin man if she could....you know the sort.... ive lost count of how many stray animals she has brought home over the years. She is going to be my biggest problem through all this, i just know it! questions question god ive gone on a bit havent i....hahaha... til lata xxxx

tina wrote:
>
>Cheers collette, have a brilliant holiday hope its nice and hot. i went to bodrum 2yrs ago, had a great time. yes you have to get in touch when you get back...... i might of plucked up courage to of done something by then!!!!. Collette I will never be able to thank you enough for your help, it is the biggest thing anyone has ever done for me and without sounding like a creepy freek, I will keep you in my heart forever. xxxxxx
25 July 2005 07.30
tina adams wrote:
Colette, hiya hope you had a fab holiday.guess what...... my real mum and sisters and brother are coming to see me today!!!!!!! tinaxx
Sent :

25 July 2005 08:5
To :
tina
Tinaaaaaaaaaa brilliant news tell me more did you ring her brother oh give us the gossip was she pleased you found her sounds like it.
I am so happy for you.
Yes i had a fab holiday i love Turkey the people are great and such a lively place.

Dont keep me in suspendersssssssssssssssssss
Col xxxxxxx

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email discoveries june 2005

I went through some old emails today. They were sent between me and Colette, a girl I had got to know through my search. The emails dated between June 14th 2005 and July 12th 2005.

Colette was a member of a genealogy site that I joined. I must of been a member of every adoption and genealogy site on the web. She had seen one of my post asking if any one had any information about my real mum. All I knew at that point was her name and a rough Idea of the area she had lived in. Oh and I had her marriage certificate that someone else had got hold of for me.
I had already been through all the electoral registers and drew a blank. Colette emailed me to say she couldn't find any records of my mum but she had come across a mans name at various addresses over the past few years who could well be her husband. I'm not sure why but at some point we came to the conclusion that they must be divorced. Over the course of the next week the emails flew between us.
The most recent address we had for this man who had to be her husband (in my mind, anyway) was in Bootle. Colette actually lived in the same area!
We still hadn't found anything on my mum and Colette emailed me on June21st with a question. Did I think she might be dead. Yeh, I did. I had thought it for the past week. I'm not sure how I felt because at that point I still didn't know the full truth behind my adoption. I still thought she had dumped me at 10 days old and that was it. So I never was looking for a relationship, I had always thought that whatever her reasons they were right for her at the time and I had no right to intrude into her life.
I decided I was going to write to her husband, with any luck even if they had had a nasty divorce he might have a heart and tell me about her and maybe give me a photo. The next 3 days Colette and her sister kept an eye on the address we had, hoping to see him. I wasn't going to write if he looked like a murderer! They had no luck, it was a house made into flats so there were lots of people coming and going. I tried to persuade her to knock the door and pretend to be a market researcher but she was having none of it!
June 27th. Michael G. Byrne of the said address was not my mums husband. He was her son. My brother. Colette had been to the records office looking for a death certificate and came away with a birth certificate. Two days later she went back and came away with the birth certificates of my two sisters. It had never entered my head that I might have brothers or sisters. July 12th I learned my mum was alive and well and had an address for her.
Why should I or any other human being have to do shit like that and discover like that who they are. That was my family I was discovering, my birth right, part of ME!

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To Make Me Whole

I need to know
From where I came
What made me so?

Something is missing
It’s not in my mind
A life times search
My core to find

I knew I was different
Not like the rest
As a growing child
Felt second best

Their eyes were blue
Mine were green
A constant reminder
Of what might have been

A walk to school
Faces to scan
She might have been there...
I should have ran

Scared lonely nights
My dreams came alive
I’d made her so real...
But she failed to arrive

It never goes away
That need to find
It’s the core of my soul...
The key to my mind.

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They call it education

If any of you are wondering how we should be educating kids about adoption, look no further than the adoption clubhouse. The Adoption Clubhouse is designed, authored and formatted by adoption professionals (how scary is that!) I don't know how I ended up at this wealth of advice adoption site but I know I couldn't leave easily. I was gripped. Every now and again I had to go back and double check that I had really read the words professionals.The site is mainly aimed at young adopted kids. Great I thought, at last, somewhere for them to go and perhaps get some real and honest answers.

I have to admit I laughed my head off at some of what I was reading. I had to laugh because if I didn't I would of cried. Here are some of the 'positive' adoption words that are encouraged. BIRTH parents -My Son/Daughter - International Adoption - Child from Abroad - Was Adopted. Here are some negative' adoption words. Adopted Child - Foreign Adoption - Foreign Child - Is Adopted -. So it is positive to say a child WAS adopted but it is negative to say a child IS adopted. May be they mean the child WAS adopted but now that child is no more because it has been reinvented!
The site has an advice section to help deal with those awkward questions school friends might ask. The main thing it seems is to not only answer but to educate at the same time. So question: have you met your real parents? educate yes i live with my real parents perhaps you are referring to my birth parents. Question: Why didn't your real mother want you? Some moms are too young to keep their babies.
This part of the site was my favourite. If a child feels odd or different because of adoption just tell them about the animal kingdom.There are documented cases of pigs and dogs adopting and nursing kittens, of mother cats nurturing puppies and baby skunks, and even one case of a bird mothering a turtle and another mama dog taking care of a baby bird. Aaarh, almost warms the heart doesn't it! but the cuckoo story is the best. Cuckoo birds are definitely not cuckoo. They have adapted to their environment in amazing ways! Adult cuckoo birds never have to build nests or raise young. The female lays eggs that look like the eggs of other bird species, and then carries her eggs to those nests. If the "adoptive mother" does not feed the baby cuckoo often enough, the young bird will make different calls to other cuckoo mother birds to come and feed it. German people are so impressed with the clever cuckoo, they carve their images into beautiful wooden clocks called cuckoo clocks. So the next time you feel more different than you want to, think of all of the other adopted people in the world and the adopted animals. Adoption is a great way to build a family, no matter what your species. There everyone feeling better now. How could you possibly feel odd after hearing rubbish like that haha.
The site also boasts an adoption dictionary. Explanations to the most common adoption related words. After seeing the first word was ADD Attention Deficit Disorder I decided enough was enough! I wonder if I would still be as fucked up if I had had the wisdom of such a web site when I was a child!

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