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Touched by Adoption

Touched by Adoption
Dont ask stupid questions

email discoveries june 2005  

Tuesday, 25 September 2007

I went through some old emails today. They were sent between me and Colette, a girl I had got to know through my search. The emails dated between June 14th 2005 and July 12th 2005.

Colette was a member of a genealogy site that I joined. I must of been a member of every adoption and genealogy site on the web. She had seen one of my post asking if any one had any information about my real mum. All I knew at that point was her name and a rough Idea of the area she had lived in. Oh and I had her marriage certificate that someone else had got hold of for me.
I had already been through all the electoral registers and drew a blank. Colette emailed me to say she couldn't find any records of my mum but she had come across a mans name at various addresses over the past few years who could well be her husband. I'm not sure why but at some point we came to the conclusion that they must be divorced. Over the course of the next week the emails flew between us.
The most recent address we had for this man who had to be her husband (in my mind, anyway) was in Bootle. Colette actually lived in the same area!
We still hadn't found anything on my mum and Colette emailed me on June21st with a question. Did I think she might be dead. Yeh, I did. I had thought it for the past week. I'm not sure how I felt because at that point I still didn't know the full truth behind my adoption. I still thought she had dumped me at 10 days old and that was it. So I never was looking for a relationship, I had always thought that whatever her reasons they were right for her at the time and I had no right to intrude into her life.
I decided I was going to write to her husband, with any luck even if they had had a nasty divorce he might have a heart and tell me about her and maybe give me a photo. The next 3 days Colette and her sister kept an eye on the address we had, hoping to see him. I wasn't going to write if he looked like a murderer! They had no luck, it was a house made into flats so there were lots of people coming and going. I tried to persuade her to knock the door and pretend to be a market researcher but she was having none of it!
June 27th. Michael G. Byrne of the said address was not my mums husband. He was her son. My brother. Colette had been to the records office looking for a death certificate and came away with a birth certificate. Two days later she went back and came away with the birth certificates of my two sisters. It had never entered my head that I might have brothers or sisters. July 12th I learned my mum was alive and well and had an address for her.
Why should I or any other human being have to do shit like that and discover like that who they are. That was my family I was discovering, my birth right, part of ME!

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