Adoption File
Wednesday, 5 September 2007
I finally received my adoption file in 1994. When I was handed it I went through every emotion possible. Shock and disbelief were two emotions that refused to go away.
I don't know what shocked me more, learning that my childhood 'imaginary' name was actually the name I was given at birth or how little information there was in it. The two page questionnaire held no surprises or the torn bit of paper (which fell apart while I tried to scan it!). They read pretty much as my adoptive family had told me. I had been handed over to them at ten days of age by my real mum. I wasn't to find out for another eleven years that my afamily with the help of my real mums brother had lied to social services.
The file also contained a yellow form that had my birth name on it and my real mums name on it, along with date of birth. The form was to be sent off to the Registrar General at Southport and they would then send my birth certificate to me!! Now this is where, if you didn't already think I was a bit mad in the head, you will definitely think I am now. I couldn't part with that yellow form. It was the only thing I had ever had or seen that told me who I was. It also had my mums name on it. I cant explain how amazing that felt.
I photo copied the form and sent it off to Southport only to have it returned with a letter stating they could only except original forms. I was gutted. If it was to get lost in the post I would never ever have that confirmation again of who I was. I did warn you all that I'm a bit mad! The logical thing would of been to just keep the photo copy and send the original. YES!! I know! but I couldn't, I had waited nearly thirty years to have an identity I was scared stiff of losing it again. I hate thinking about just how desperate I felt at that time. Makes me feel a bit a sad freak to be honest, but hey fuck it I wanted a mum and needed a mum. I wanted to be loved.
I didn't part with my yellow form for over six years. The year 2000 I sent it off and got my birth certificate. here is how the powers that be summed up my birth. My adoption was little more than a clerical error at birth!
5 September 2007 at 14:10
If you're a bit mad for wanting to keep that piece of paper, that makes most of us a bit mad too. I slept with mine when I got it (now that *is* weird).
You spoilt the fun by wiping out some of the details on the scans - all I can tell is that the signature of the adoption officer doesn't match the one I have so we came from the same office, but were handled by different people. But what date? Mine is dated 24/10/67.
They censored my records before they sent them - how can you be sure they haven't done the same to you?
Cheers Tina,
5 September 2007 at 14:29
Hiya, well you being a woolly an all Id be disappointed if you werent a bit mad! haha. Mine could well be doctored but I dont think it has. That is it though I have nothing else, no reports nothing! Heres the head doer. Let me double check with you. That is the proposal for adoption yes?. It was filled in on 4.4.66. My real mum got married 1.4.66. She had left me with the family while they went to skegness for a weeks honeymoon! Sorry had to scrub out some info because my amum doesnt know I have even looked for real family never mind found them. Just another secret to go with the rest. How are you anyway!