Think the Unthinkable

Places you have never been before seem strangely familiar. You hear a voice and just for a moment, you turn to look. Dreams of faces you have never seen appear to you as you sleep. Surrounded by family, just for a split second, you feel an outsider. You might mention the odd thing or two to your family but they casually dismiss them. There is no one particular thing that you can explain as not right, there is just something.

It is a feeling deep inside, a feeling of something missing. Like a story book that has lost some of its pages. You can skip the missing pages and still follow the story but you are still aware of the missing pages.

I can make the missing pages comparison because I have experienced the unthinkable. More importantly though, I discovered reality. I ask you, for a moment, try and think the unthinkable. The only parents you have ever known. The parents who you love and who love you with all their hearts. imagine, if you can, that you weren't born into the family you love and know. Imagine your life started very differently.

Adoption 'awareness' is very much in the media but being 'aware' means accepting that corruption DOES exist in adoption. Children ARE stolen and sold for adoption. Could YOU be a stolen child? Unthinkable you say, but is it? Stolen children are quickly molded into the role of official off spring. Would the adopters of a stolen child tell the child. NO. So, I ask you again, think the unthinkable.

On July 24, 1991 on the Greek Island of Kos, a two year old child vanished without a trace. Little Ben Needham was playing in the Greek sunshine outside the family home, within the space of five minutes he was gone. Bens' mum Kerry was let down atrociously by the Greek authorities (and the UK, where it seems, unless the missing child is that of a middle class family it is just yesterdays news) who took the stance that no Greek person would steal or hurt a child". The refusal to consider Greek involvement meant the investigation into Bens' abduction was a farce from the beginning.

Greece has a long history of trafficking and illegal adoption. After world war 2 and Civil war the Greek economy was on its knees. The 1950's saw 100's if not 1000s of children illegally shipped to America from Greece for adoption.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9905E2DF1139F930A25757C0A960958260 Was it coincidence that at the same time the Greek economy appeared to recover? A much fuller picture of Greek adoptions has emerged since the 1995 social turbulence which resulted in the unearthing of mass criminal acts involving adoption. These finding, have forced a change in the ancient Greek adoption laws, and in 1996 adoptees finally gained rights.http://www.seasyp.gr/greek-law.htm .


The possibility exists that Ben Needham was abducted for the adoption market. Sixteen years have gone by since Kerry and her family held Ben, touched Ben, kissed Ben, sixteen long years that will have turned Ben from that chubby little two year old whos' face we know so well, into an eighteen year old young man. While that possibility exists I ask every young man just for a moment to think the unthinkable. It could well be the unthinkable that holds the key to Bens' whereabouts.

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Promise to Ben

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Letter I can never send

Dear Mum, I don't know where to start, It's been just over two years since I last came to see you. I know you don't know why and I know it must hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, but I'm scared I would fall apart and never recover if we had this conversation face to face for real.

I know I haven't mentioned my real family since I was about 14years old and I know that it would never of entered your mind that I would try to look for them. Mum, I did look, and after twenty two years I found them. I met them for the first time two years ago. I'm sorry. I wish you where still the same person that you were when I was a child, this wouldn't hurt so much and I could just hate you and tell you what I thought of you. Your not that same person and you haven't been for many years. I understand so much more now.

What you did was wrong but apart of me can see how it must of been for you. I know you had arranged to adopt me before I was born. I know that my mum handed me over to you when I was ten days old. You had spent four months planning for me. My mum said you were devastated when she took me back one day later. She said how you tried to kill yourself. That's why she promised you that you could see me whenever you wanted.

She told me how much you and my dad loved me and how you spoilt me every time you seen me. I know she took advantage of you as well. She said when she was pregnant with my brother Michael it was often easier to just let you have me for a few weeks as a time.While she was living at her brothers and his wife's I know she left me with you more than she should have. She told me it was hard at her brothers because he had five kids and she and Mick (yes, they are still together) had me and baby Michael but it was made clear I should be got rid of. I was an illegitimate bastard and the families shame. I don't really know what her brother Jimmy told you or even if you knew my mum had a breakdown. All I know is that when I was three and a half you and dad took me on holiday and my mum didn't see me again.

You obviously knew what ever it was and what ever lies you dad and Jimmy told social services you knew it was wrong. It explains alot though. You must of been scared of been found out. The lies make sense but why did you tell me such horrible things about my mum. She never dumped me as a tiny baby and she did love me. Why did you always tell me she didn't want to know me. Why did you always tell me she was no good. You probably believed that though. Mum she isn't a bad person she was just a young naive girl who got pregnant. You told me she was a prostitute but apart from my dad Mick is the only man ever in her life. Did you know as well as Michael (who you never told me about) I also had two sisters.

I have so many things I want to ask you but I know in the real world I never will. When we speak on the phone I cry for hours when I put the phone down. I live two completely different lives now and neither of them is real. I cant be honest with you so I pretend on the phone that everything is fine. My real family I have had to tell them I had a happy childhood, it was the only saving for my mum. After you took me she had several breakdowns and never full recovered. I could never tell her the truth about my childhood and I could never tell her that I spent alot of time in children's homes, it would kill her. So I can never really have a relationship with my family because my child hood experiences made me who I am. To you I am Jxxxxxx your daughter who left home at 16. To my real family I am Donna, my mums daughter and big sister to Michael, Michelle and Allie, and I'm back where I belong. When I moved away at 16 I left my childhood behind and as you know every one knows me by my nick name. I cant be jxxxx because she was nothing but a lie. I cant be Donna because I don't know who she is and I don't want to be the person I became at 16 because to be her I have to be alone. It would of been easier if I had never been born.

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His other life

The otherside of Miliband.

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Poor Little Bastards Are We!

Cllr Shireen Ritchie, Cabinet Member for Family and Children's Services and the driving force behind Chelsea's middle class adoption team. What a woman and what a world she lives in.

Last year she kicked of the 'its the magic of being a family' campaign. She delighted the conservative women of Chelsea with her adventuress approach. Instead of the usual adoption events being held in the Town Hall she took the magic of adoption to the people. Brent Park Tesco in Neasden, was the first port of call. Where better to set up a stand to promote the magic of adoption. The check out at the local supermarket.

'It's the magic of being a family' had taken months of preparing (so we were told)Cllr Shireen Ritchie said: "It's very important to provide a permanent home for children when it is not possible for them to live with their own family. Children are the future and it is vital that we give every child the best possible opportunity in life." Then announced the final leg of the campaign. Centre Court Shopping Centre, Queens Road, Wimbledon, and then on to the foyer area at Tesco, Great Central Way, Neasden.

She was completely oblivious to the fact that the posters of children in need of a magic family looked like a marketing campaign for the up and coming in store Christmas grotto. She made another slight error of judgment
also in her search for magic mummies and daddies. The residence of her nice borough have their Nannies or Au pairs do the shopping at Tesco. Silly woman.

Did I mention that Cllr Shireen Ritchie, is also the mother in law of Madonna and step mother to Guy Ritchie non the less. She appeared on GMTV last week to highlight her adoption campaign. Being interviewed by the non too intelligent Fiona Phillips.

Fiona Phillips asked: “You have probably one of the most famous adopted little grandsons in the whole world now. How’s that all working out?”

“It’s working out very well,” Ritchie replied. “They’re wonderful and loving parents and he’s a very lucky little boy.”

interview

Excuse me! well it goes some way in explaining just why adoptees always feel somewhat 'lucky' and grateful, similar to a sack full of puppies saved from the canal. Yes, lets hope little David appreciates how lucky he is to have his mum die and lose his remaining family. This woman has a voice in UK adoption and it is a voice that is heard. We un -grateful little bastards need to use our own voices and loudly demand the respect and the right to live without owing a debt of gratitude to any fucker that patted us on the head as we passed.

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I am an equal

Will adoptees ever be seen for what they really are. What are we? We are members of the human race, we are created and arrive in the world in the same way as non adoptees. We take our first breath and share the same air as every other person.

From the moment the cord of protection is cut, we all, without out exception become individual residents of life.

Somewhere along the way we lose our equal status and become the property and result of our higher ranked race. Do we grow an extra nose or a couple of horns, visible only to the non adopted. What ever it is I know it's real. We are not complete rejects, we show signs of promise or maybe a blank canvas for the more imaginative.
The process begins with the rough edges being smoothed. Then the erasure of anything that might identify our flaws. There, just like a real child. Who would ever guess that we were one of them, you know, one of them adoption options.
The next blog might hold the clues as to why the disguise we are given doesn't quite fit.

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In a Village Hall Near You

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Ben 16 years on

in 1991 21 month old Ben Needham went missing on the Island of Kos. Circumstances were similar in some ways to Maddie Mccann but the response was completely different. Ben's mum was a single parent who along with her parents and young brother had moved to the Greek Island to make a better life for themselves. On a sunny afternoon in broad daylight little Ben vanished off the face of the earth from out side the family home. The Maccans story is well known and the investigation is in the media almost everyday (as it should be).

Maddies parents both of whom are well respected Doctors have had mass media support and all legal costs funded by donations. Even Richard Branson the multimillionaire has offered to pay for anything they family needs. They were provided with the funds to remain in Portugal for as long as needed.
Kerry, Bens mother received no help at all. Media attention died down within a matter of weeks and she was let down by the Greek police investigating Bens disappearance in the worst possible way. The whole family had to leave the Island of Kos shortly after Ben went missing due to financial reasons. Why did no one come forward to offer financial help to this family who clearly needed it. Ben will be 18 shortly and his family with the help of a computer whizz have had a photograph done of how Ben would look today in the hope of either Ben or someone who knows him recognising him.
It has from the beginning been widely thought that Ben was taken by someone for illegal adoption. Greece at the time announced that Ben must be dead because 'no Greek person would steal a child'. Illegal adoption and especially that of blue eyed blond haired children (as Ben was) has been rife in Greece since the 1940's. Greece does not even have to this day a central data base of Birth records, making illegal abduction and adoption an easy mission.
Even if Ben is to be found and the adoption theory proven, who ever took him will go unpunished because Greece also has a 15 year statute of limitations, which for Ben has passed, so no one can ever be prosecuted for any crime towards Ben. The attitude in the UK, I'm ashamed to say, has for the Mccanns been sympathetic (even though they left 3 children under the age of 5 alone in an apartment) and they have been offered help at every turning. The same peoples attitude towards Kerry, Bens 19 year old mother was a complete contrast. She was portrayed as a single parent who had failed to keep her child safe and offered no help or compassion. The Greek police have now admitted they made grave errors in the immediate search for Ben but what good is that now. Does society really think that a persons financial status is what decides a persons worthiness and goodness. Sadly in the UK it seems to be the case.

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Adoption Week BLAH!

But I'm NOT!




Be careful what you wish for : You might just get that head in a box

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A miracle price

Take one healthy child,
negotiate a price
scrub away the grime
call it something nice

When it starts to talk
make sure that it's polite
and when it calls you mother
be sure to say 'that's right'

Send it to a good school
the best that you can find
what a lucky bastard
to have a mum so kind

That God blessed little miracle
is a fucked up fairy tale
since when did any miracle
come with bill of sale

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I need praying for... She says

I read a blog last night by an adopter named Andrea. The blog is a celebration of Gods miracle in bringing her daughter into her life.. Her happiness is obvious and her daughter beautiful.

Her blog tells how she came to adopt, why she chose the country she chose and they journey they have been on. She was told many mothers are willing to give their babies up for a better life for them and they plan parties to mark the date of Gods miracle.
I had read quite a few Inter country Adoption blogs and the adopters have got it soooo right. They have recognised the pain that is also attached to adoption. They understand the need their child will have to know about their identity and all that goes with it. They have it so right because as well as loving their child they think of the child's needs before their own.
Anyway, I commented on the blog (shock horror, how dare I !) I simply said how happy they looked but (think that was my mistake) It was no miracle that got them their child, it was an industry, a big industry at that. It comes down to cash. No mother should be parted from her child due to lack of wealth. More should be done to enable these families to stay together. I didn't mean to offend the woman I just felt she owed it to her child to know the reality. I also said there will come a day when the miracle celebration party will make her child think of what she lost that day. National Adoption week has only started here today and already I have heard that many sugar coated cliches I could scream! The pain and hurt that adoptees feel when they are old enough to understand is real and ignore it all you like but it doesn't go away and it doesn't get easier.
Well the bottom line is Andrea the adopter has asked every one to pray for me for my EVIL comments!'Please join me in praying for her. God adopts us into his family, and I have no doubt that He brought my child to mine'. Whooppee! I might be a bastard but at least I will be a blessed bastard! Hey Ho.

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Little things mean...

Today is my sons birthday. I have found myself crying on more than a couple of occasions (out of site of course). The reason...

between my a/family and my real family, at least 24 adults in all, not one card. I know it sounds pathetic to cry over something so small. I am not even sure why it hurts so much. My sons attitude was 'so what'. So why did it tug my heart, no rephrase that, why did I feel my heart had been torn out and trampled on?
If his birthday was any other day I don't think I would feel so bad. Bonfire Night, hardly a day you forget. I don't know if its because I have never had a birthday card off my real family or what but its the little things that hurt the most.
Have I built up a fantasy of what having a real family means, yes I know its only a card. Is it supposed to hurt like this.

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Adoption Week

Monday sees the start of the Annual Circus show. The circus that is Adoption Week. Whoooppie!
It's a new beginning for all the children 'protected' by the closed family courts. Freed for adoption, it is now OK to parade them all over the media. Who gives a shit that they don't have a clue what is really happening to them!
Of course there are children who cant be with their own families, for what ever reason, but they still have the right to keep their family, including name, in their heart and soul. Children cant have enough people to love them, cant that love and security be given without tossing the old family out for the new!

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