Ben 16 years on

in 1991 21 month old Ben Needham went missing on the Island of Kos. Circumstances were similar in some ways to Maddie Mccann but the response was completely different. Ben's mum was a single parent who along with her parents and young brother had moved to the Greek Island to make a better life for themselves. On a sunny afternoon in broad daylight little Ben vanished off the face of the earth from out side the family home. The Maccans story is well known and the investigation is in the media almost everyday (as it should be).

Maddies parents both of whom are well respected Doctors have had mass media support and all legal costs funded by donations. Even Richard Branson the multimillionaire has offered to pay for anything they family needs. They were provided with the funds to remain in Portugal for as long as needed.
Kerry, Bens mother received no help at all. Media attention died down within a matter of weeks and she was let down by the Greek police investigating Bens disappearance in the worst possible way. The whole family had to leave the Island of Kos shortly after Ben went missing due to financial reasons. Why did no one come forward to offer financial help to this family who clearly needed it. Ben will be 18 shortly and his family with the help of a computer whizz have had a photograph done of how Ben would look today in the hope of either Ben or someone who knows him recognising him.
It has from the beginning been widely thought that Ben was taken by someone for illegal adoption. Greece at the time announced that Ben must be dead because 'no Greek person would steal a child'. Illegal adoption and especially that of blue eyed blond haired children (as Ben was) has been rife in Greece since the 1940's. Greece does not even have to this day a central data base of Birth records, making illegal abduction and adoption an easy mission.
Even if Ben is to be found and the adoption theory proven, who ever took him will go unpunished because Greece also has a 15 year statute of limitations, which for Ben has passed, so no one can ever be prosecuted for any crime towards Ben. The attitude in the UK, I'm ashamed to say, has for the Mccanns been sympathetic (even though they left 3 children under the age of 5 alone in an apartment) and they have been offered help at every turning. The same peoples attitude towards Kerry, Bens 19 year old mother was a complete contrast. She was portrayed as a single parent who had failed to keep her child safe and offered no help or compassion. The Greek police have now admitted they made grave errors in the immediate search for Ben but what good is that now. Does society really think that a persons financial status is what decides a persons worthiness and goodness. Sadly in the UK it seems to be the case.

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Adoption Week BLAH!

But I'm NOT!




Be careful what you wish for : You might just get that head in a box

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A miracle price

Take one healthy child,
negotiate a price
scrub away the grime
call it something nice

When it starts to talk
make sure that it's polite
and when it calls you mother
be sure to say 'that's right'

Send it to a good school
the best that you can find
what a lucky bastard
to have a mum so kind

That God blessed little miracle
is a fucked up fairy tale
since when did any miracle
come with bill of sale

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I need praying for... She says

I read a blog last night by an adopter named Andrea. The blog is a celebration of Gods miracle in bringing her daughter into her life.. Her happiness is obvious and her daughter beautiful.

Her blog tells how she came to adopt, why she chose the country she chose and they journey they have been on. She was told many mothers are willing to give their babies up for a better life for them and they plan parties to mark the date of Gods miracle.
I had read quite a few Inter country Adoption blogs and the adopters have got it soooo right. They have recognised the pain that is also attached to adoption. They understand the need their child will have to know about their identity and all that goes with it. They have it so right because as well as loving their child they think of the child's needs before their own.
Anyway, I commented on the blog (shock horror, how dare I !) I simply said how happy they looked but (think that was my mistake) It was no miracle that got them their child, it was an industry, a big industry at that. It comes down to cash. No mother should be parted from her child due to lack of wealth. More should be done to enable these families to stay together. I didn't mean to offend the woman I just felt she owed it to her child to know the reality. I also said there will come a day when the miracle celebration party will make her child think of what she lost that day. National Adoption week has only started here today and already I have heard that many sugar coated cliches I could scream! The pain and hurt that adoptees feel when they are old enough to understand is real and ignore it all you like but it doesn't go away and it doesn't get easier.
Well the bottom line is Andrea the adopter has asked every one to pray for me for my EVIL comments!'Please join me in praying for her. God adopts us into his family, and I have no doubt that He brought my child to mine'. Whooppee! I might be a bastard but at least I will be a blessed bastard! Hey Ho.

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Little things mean...

Today is my sons birthday. I have found myself crying on more than a couple of occasions (out of site of course). The reason...

between my a/family and my real family, at least 24 adults in all, not one card. I know it sounds pathetic to cry over something so small. I am not even sure why it hurts so much. My sons attitude was 'so what'. So why did it tug my heart, no rephrase that, why did I feel my heart had been torn out and trampled on?
If his birthday was any other day I don't think I would feel so bad. Bonfire Night, hardly a day you forget. I don't know if its because I have never had a birthday card off my real family or what but its the little things that hurt the most.
Have I built up a fantasy of what having a real family means, yes I know its only a card. Is it supposed to hurt like this.

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Adoption Week

Monday sees the start of the Annual Circus show. The circus that is Adoption Week. Whoooppie!
It's a new beginning for all the children 'protected' by the closed family courts. Freed for adoption, it is now OK to parade them all over the media. Who gives a shit that they don't have a clue what is really happening to them!
Of course there are children who cant be with their own families, for what ever reason, but they still have the right to keep their family, including name, in their heart and soul. Children cant have enough people to love them, cant that love and security be given without tossing the old family out for the new!

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