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Touched by Adoption

Touched by Adoption
Dont ask stupid questions

November 1985  

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Quite possibly the most magical night of my life. Why? It was the night I gave birth to my first son. I must of lay staring at him for most of the night.

Nothing could have prepared me for the overwhelming love I felt for him. While I was pregnant I had all the romantic ideas of what my, I suppose I should say our, baby was going to be like. She was going to be gorgeous, only she turned out to be a he!

From the second I clapped eyes on him I knew that this must be what it feels like to love some one. The next day as he lay asleep in my arms I thought for the first time ever 'how could someone give their baby away'. I just thought, what a bitch to give a baby away, really what I meant was how could my mum of given me away!

I must of cried for the next 2 days, I couldn't tell anyone why I was crying, no one in my new life knew I was adopted, so It was put down to the baby blues. I made the decision then that I wouldn't give up till I found my mum. Before that time I had never once thought in that way, I had always thought that what ever reason my mum had me adopted was the right reason for her at the time. I have never thought it since then either. I just count my self lucky to have had my kids beside me and could never imagine the pain of losing any of them.

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2 comments: to “ November 1985

  • birthmom1986
    9 October 2007 at 10:15  

    It is hard to understand. It really is. Having to give your child up for adoption affects the rest of your life. So does being adopted.

  • Tina with much2say
    9 October 2007 at 14:29  

    Hiya, If I'm honest the crying I did were for myself. I think I just felt dead sorry for myself! Within less than a week I got over my self pitying. I dont believe any mother can give her child up and not lose apart of her heart, whatever the reasons. There are no winners in adoption. It's good that we can hear each side and hopefully help each other to heal. P.s I wish you would change your name, you were and still are so much more than just a 'birth mom'.
    love tina

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