Closure - WHEN
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
Closure. Now there's a word. For me the word was constant in most of my thoughts. Knowing who I was would bring closure. Finding my family, would bring closure...
Just knowing... that was going to be my closure. I found out who I was. It didn't bring closure. I found my family. It didn't bring closure. Does closure even exist? Or is it just another fucked up belief we cling on to!
I need closure. I want closure. So where the fuck is CLOSURE! I would love to hear from other adoptees as to whether or not closure exists. The closer I think I am to finding it I wake up to find it's further away than ever.
I'm pissed off at being adopted. Adoption isn't just an event that happened to me as a child. Adoption is like a really crap movie, with a fuzzy beginning a middle with no meaning and an ending that leaves you thinking 'what the f#ck was that all about'.
18 October 2007 at 10:24
Tina, I'm just a birthmom and I can tell you that closure on my part doesn't exist. It is something that I will have to deal with every day of my life for the rest of my life.
18 October 2007 at 16:06
Hiya, you know what, doing this blog has been so much harder than I thought it would be. I'm glad I'm doing it though because I'm understanding more and more how it is for everyone touched by adoption.
I'm not sure why, but for some reason I assumed (ignorantly)that mums' would find closure once they found their child. Lets hope one day we will all find, if not closure, at least some peace.
I really appriciate a mum taking the time to reply,its easy to forget that the mums live adoption everyday too.
love tina xx
19 October 2007 at 12:22
I found it - it was in my head. I had to know everything - and found no one to blame. My mum was a teenager and just like me when I was one. Simple as that.
Whether she'll ever forgive herself I don't know but I forgave her a long time ago.
And then I let go.
Take care Tina
19 October 2007 at 12:43
Hiya stranger, long time no see! I'm dead glad you feel like that, Perhaps I'm finding it harder because of the way mine happened. I do have some one to blame but I find it harder to deal with what my mum has been through I think. Oh I dunno, maybe I'm just fucked! Hows things anyway
love tina